Night Wounds
by Dark-Night-Tigress
Summary: Angel disappears, and Xander is left to pick up the pieces. Rated M for violence and adult situations. Xangel/Spander/Xan-Spike-Angel dude, obviously this is a SLASH fic. deal with it
1. Chapter 1

"…Aangel?"

A whisper of silk trickled across a moonlit patch of sheets and pillowed paradise. Xander had made the nest of warm comfort before, filling his bed with scents of his beloved. An old shirt, a jacket, the towel he'd used to dry his hair after their last shower together…..all had been spread out over the wrought iron bed that Angel had bought for them.

Before he'd abandoned Xander.

Before he'd disappeared.

A choked sob wrenched through Xander's throat, as dry as it had been yesterday and the day before, but there was nothing else to do. His tears were long spent, yet still he found a way to cry.

'_**Snivelling coward….'**_

Xander huddled deeper beneath the forgotten clothing, arms wrapped firmly around his head. He didn't want to hear it.

'_**You're wasting your time….'**_

No, nonononono!

'_**Do you really think he's coming back? For you?!'**_

Cruel laughter filled his mind as long dead doubts surged up to the forefront of his grief stricken mind.

'_**Ohh…poor Xan-deee…' **_it hissed, _**'poor, weak little Xan-deeeee….did you really think he **_**loved **_**you?'**_

"Nooo…" Xander whispered, "Leave me alone!! Get out of my head!!"

'But Xandeee…I like it here. He tried to make me go away, he told you lies Xandeee. You know the truth. You know it, don't you?'

"…no…" he tried desperately to hold onto sanity, but he could feel his grasp slipping with every poisoned word. Only his love kept him alive, but without his beast's strength, it was a losing fight.

'That's right Xandeee….without him, you're nothing. Worthless. Why not let it go? Why not give in to me? I can make the pain go away too you know….'

That was what he wanted, right? An end to this pain? Oh God, what was he saying? He couldn't give up so easily, could he?

'_**But it'll be so easy Xandeee…I'll make it easy. I'll make it good, just like **_**he **_**was supposed to. Remember Xandeee? Remember how much he hurt you?'**_

But it was an accident…Angel would never…

'_**How can you be sure Xandeee? Why believe anything he said? He **_**lied **_**to you, he said he wouldn't leave you, he'd never leave, never let you go….'**_

It was true. He did say that, and now Xander was alone, all alone again…

'Shhh….it's okay Xandeee…I'll make it all better…you'll see….it only hurts for a second, remember? Just let go Xandeee…'

Yes, he could do this. One last fall and then it'd all be okay. One little cut. But he'd told Angel he wouldn't, he'd promised…but Angel wasn't here now, was he? Angel couldn't stop him, not anymore…Angelll….

'That's it Xandeee….let it all go…watch your pain flow away….'

Xander lifted the razor and sliced.


	2. Chapter 2

"Oi! Whelp! You in there?"

Bang Bang Bang

The double doors of the mansion shuddered under the force of Spike's knocks, each one bringing dust from the overhang to shower the disgruntled bleached blond vamp. The sun was only a few hours from rising, and the closer the deadly rays got, the more frustrated Spike became. This wasn't what he signed up for.

"Oi! Whelp, you'd better be dying or dead in there!" his voice was punctuated with another series of frame rattling shocks, but the door was built to withstand serious demon attacks. His death-enhanced strength was nothing compared to the class D dead bolts holding the door together and keeping him out.

Spike ran a frustrated hand through his hair, sending the normally neat spikes into a frenzy of uncontrolled waves. He needed in, and soon, else there wouldn't be anything standing here but a pile of dust. Why the hell was he here again?

Oh. Yeah. Scoobies needed someone to nose out the whelp.

_Bloody ponce had better be in here…_

Spike pounded on the door again, before leaning in and taking another close sniff at the door. Yeah. Whelp was in there, and he wasn't doing too good if Spike could trust his senses. The scent of tears and sweat permeated the wood, and it was strong enough to confuse Spike. He knew Xander had been hurt by his grandsire's disappearance, but this….this overwhelming _grief_ was unexpected.

_Unless there was more to this than the other White Hats bothered tellin me._

Spike gave up on the door and made to walk around the mansion, trying to remember all the ways he used to sneak in when the big Poof was still a Master vamp. He got to the back garden, but didn't dare hop the fence once he spotted the crucifixes topping each tine of the gate. The magical barrier that used to surround this part of the house had been down for weeks, this much he knew, but he was still a bloody vampire and those crosses hurt like seven hells. Still, at least from here he could see into the living room of the mansion, and the dining room doors were open letting out a wisp of scent that tantalized Spikes senses and tugged at a memory he couldn't place. It was gone in a moment, but by then Spike's curiosity was peaked.

_What the hell…is that the whelp?_

There was another soft gust of wind, and with it that scent came again, this time wrapped around another that caused Spike's long dead heart to freeze.

_Oh no…_

There was a shatter of glass, a snarl, then silence. Xander heard none of it. His mind was filled with the whisperings of that voice, such a soft, sensual voice. His friend. It had been there for him when no one else was, tempting him, wooing him. He hated it. He needed it. Because the silence had become deafening.

_**Shhhh….that's right Xanndeeee…..relaaaxxxx…..**_

Xander's eyes drifted closed, and he let the steady drip of water lull him into a doze. He could feel unconsciousness coming, and with it release from the pain rending his heart to pieces. All he had to do now was wait.

_**There now Xanndeee….soooo mucchhhh betterrrr….nothing can hurt you now….**_

And it wouldn't. He had to believe that, hold onto that. In this place, this dark, quiet place, nothing could hurt him anymore. Even the agony of Angel's disappearance was gone, and all that remained was emptiness. Silence.

It was the best someone like him could ever hope for. An end, to the pain.

"_I hope he knows…..I loved him….."_

_**Nooo Xandeee…think of meee nooww….heee is gooone….reeelaaaxxx….juuuust relaaaxxxx…..**_

There was a second crash, this time closer, as if someone had broken down the door to his bedroom. The one he'd shared with Angel. Xander's only thought was that he hoped it was a demon, some fledge bent on taking Angel's place in Sunnydale. He hoped they'd make it quick, but it didn't matter. He would be dead soon anyway. He knew it, and compared to that, nothing else really seemed to matter.

Nope, nothing at all.

Except…he really would rather not die…

_**I will give you a new life Xandee…one where no one can hurt you anymore….you can be freeee…..**_

Yes, that was what he wanted. That was why he had done this. Freedom. And an end to this searing, mindless, soul scarring pain….

"Oi! Welp! Where the fuck are you?"

The voice faded in and out of Xander's mind, as his consciousness began to slip, but he would swear it was….

"….SSSSppike?"

There was a final crash, this time of wood being ripped from its hinges. The door. And then it happened. A scream, an unearthly scream the likes of which Xander had never heard before began to fill the room, echoing off of the walls and vibrating through Xander's very core. It went on, and on, shattering the mirrors and glass, fracturing the windows of the mansion and permeating out into the night like the cry of a Harpy, dripping with malice and woe and desperation.

But just as suddenly as it began, it was over, and all that was left in the room was the shards littering the marble tile of the floor, each one coated in the deep red of Xander's life blood.

AN: so appreciating the love given to this story. I've decided to make it a full fic, keep a eye out for new chapters. I've worked out the plot storyline, and it's definitely going to be something i've never done before. Hope you all enjoy it! p.s. I promise the next chapter will be longer, and will begin the actual fic. Call these two chappies the prelude :)


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